Remembering

It's funny how something very basic can trigger memories. Last night we had steak for dinner along with mashed potatoes, green beans, and corn on the cob. My husband has this way of putting butter on his corn where he holds the corn holder thingies (whatever they're called - the things you stick in the ends of the cob so you can hold it without getting your hands messy) and rolls the corn on top of a stick of butter to get it covered without having to try and spread it with a knife. Quite ingenious if you ask me, and much less messy. This always brings me back to Matt. Two years ago while still at Camp Lejeune, NC, we had two of Trent's lieutenant friends, Matt and Dan, over for dinner. We had the same meal we had last night minus the green beans. Both guys commented on what a great family we had but it was one of those nights where things go crazy and both kids (we only had two at the time) were crying while we were trying to clean up dinner and it got a little hectic. So we scared them away from the prospect of fatherhood for a few years at least lol. But one of the things I always remember from that night was how impressed Matt was with Trent's corn rolling technique. He thought it was the coolest thing he'd ever seen and said we'd opened up new worlds to him. Okay not really, but he did think it was pretty cool.

A year later Matt was dead. 1st Lt Matthew Vandegrift was killed in action in Iraq in April 2008 while on patrol with his Marines. Remembering this always makes me think of the danger my husband is in whenever he deploys. It also makes me wonder why we stay in this profession that takes him away for months at a time and puts him in such dangerous situations. Matt is certainly not the first Marine we've known to be killed over there and I'm sure he won't be the last. That's the risk you take when you're in a profession where you're constantly going into a situation where you're surrounded by people who want to kill you and are willing to die in order to make that happen. I'm lucky. Trent's only been over there once and most likely won't be over there again for a few more years. When you think about that and the fact that he spends months at a time away from his kids, it's really tempting to run for the hills and get out of this while we still can, find a "normal" job and settle down somewhere. But then I think about all the good things that come along with it. The wonderful friends we've met, the camaraderie among Marines, the free housing lol. Not to mention free healthcare, a guaranteed paycheck, a pension plan, pay raises every year...I could go on too. Plus there's the fact that my husband loves his job and he's good at it. He's really good at it. He thrives among Marines. He often says he can't imagine being in a profession where he can't chew someone out for being late or laugh at them for saying something stupid (like the Army lieutenant he was teaching recently who thought his tool they were using was written in Arabic when in fact it was simply upside down). And really, I don't mind moving. It's been kinda hard being far away from my parents since we've been in Oklahoma, but since Trent's not deploying it makes it easier. I can't imagine him deploying and not being near family that I could run to when I needed someone to take the kids so I can keep my sanity. Trent and I waffle back and forth so much on whether we want to stay in or get out. Whenever he's deployed, we're both adamant about getting out. But then he comes home and we say it wasn't that bad and start thinking maybe we can stay in. I'm sure we'll change our minds a thousand more times before his time in the Marine Corps is over, whenever that is. It's not the easiest life to live, but I'm not sure it's one I'd want to live without.


P.S. If you haven't seen it, take the time to see the movie "Taking Chance." It's an HBO movie recently out on DVD starring Kevin Bacon based on a true story about bringing home the body of a Marine killed in Iraq. It's a powerfully moving story that shouldn't be watched with anything less than a full box of tissues but well worth it.